Whistling Girls and Crowing Hens Don't Never Come to No Good Ends

 "Whistling girls and crowing hens don't never come to no good ends."

That's how we learned it, but apparently, there are several variations on this rhyme:

• A crooning cow, a crowing Hen and a whistling Maid boded never luck to a House. The two first are reckoned ominous, but the Reflection is on the third.[1721 J. Kelly Scottish Proverbs 33]
  
• A whistling woman and a crowing hen, Is neither fit for God nor men.
  [1850 Notes & Queries 1st Ser. II. 164]
  
• ‘A whistling woman and a crowing hen are neither fit for God nor men,’ is a mild English saying.
  [1891 J. L. Kipling Beast & Man ii.]
  
• A whistling woman and a crowing hen will fear the old lad [the Devil] out of his den.
  [1917 J. C. Bridge Cheshire Proverbs 28]
  
• Royal teased her, Whistling girls and crowing hens Always come to some bad ends.
  [1933 L. I. Wilder Farmer Boy xi.]
  
• A whistling woman and a crowing hen, Will bring Old Harry out of his den.
  
  
  [1979 G. Duff Country Wisdom (1983) 55]
  

We don't have any roosters.  We do have a hen who thinks she's a rooster.

This fella pictured to the left lives on a "real" farm, and watches over a bevy of barred rock beauties like some primitive tribal chieftain, or lead singer from an '80s hair band.

Duck (our Alpha hen) bosses around a small group of backyard bitties whose only major decisions each day involve whether to snack on greens first, then get a drink of water, then scratch around in the leaves for bugs, or to do these things in a different order (they usually don't opt for a different order; "Different is bad!" they may be saying.  Chickens are very particular.) 

The one thing they can definitely count on, though, is that they only perform their limited repertoire of tasks at the whim and fancy of Duck.  This even extends to the nighttime decision of who gets to fly up to the roost first.  We were astounded the first time we realized that the evening rustle, always punctuated by some henpecking and fuss, is extended due to the fact that Duck is lining the girls up and telling them who gets to go where, and when.

She also feels the need to announce to the world as each egg is laid.  It's almost as though she's standing there wanting to pass out cigars.  I don't know how to break it to her that her proud brood is soon to be consumed in the form of omelettes and taquitos.

And now, just in the last few weeks (the birds are about 22 months old now), Duck has started to crow.  Every morning, about 30 minutes before sunrise, there is an unmistakable "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" coming from our backyard.  If we didn't know for sure that she is still laying eggs, I would swear she had just been pulling a Jack Lemmon from "Some Like it Hot".  But no, she really is a she; she's just taking on a role.

It's amusing, it's annoying, it's informative.  It makes me wonder what else in the wide world of behavioral evolutionary science we've taken for granted, and made silly assumptions about.

Either way, come on over some time, pull up a chair and a hot cocoa, and watch some chickens with us.  It's really quite a floor show!

Happy farming!

What the Experts Don't Study... They Don't Know...

We love our local feed store.  Producer's Co-op is pretty much our one-stop shop for everything Myrtle related.

However, we had a little disagreement with our favorite fount of information there a few months ago.  He insisted there was no nutritional advantage to feeding our birds the weeds we pulled up from the vegetable garden (and the lawn... but that's another story...), and that if we want our birds to lay for as much as a year before molting, we need to put a light out there in the coop to extend daylight hours throughout the year (particularly in winter).

Most experts agree with our fount of information, and not with us.   Witness a University of Florida paper explaining the severe (to us) limits on egg production in hens, the need for particularly rigid feed control (must document their whole diet!) and the need to extend hours of daylight to maximize egg production for even 65% production after 12 months.

Keep in mind, this article is called "Factors Affecting Production in Backyard Chicken Flocks".

We do none of these things.  Our birds do get  bagged lay pellets manufactured at Producer's, but their diet is heavily supplemented by table scraps, the aforementioned weeds from the garden, and every bug we can catch.

And forget your paltry 65% production at twelve months... after 18 months, we are regularly hitting 95% production (that's 46 to 47 eggs per week, for those playing the home game)!  Seven birds, laying just under four dozen eggs a week, six months after the experts say we should have expected a serious molt.

Clearly, there are other factors involved which have yet to be studied.

This, to me, marks one of the multilateral failings of the alternative foods movement:  big science has no interest in doing any kind of serious study of the microagriculture movement, and small science has no budget to generate any kind of credible study.

You're left with anecdotal evidence.  And we've got plenty of cute anecdotes, let me tell you, but they hardly constitute good science.  We just know our eggs taste better than the grocery store eggs -- yes, even from Brazos Natural Foods.  We also suspect they are healthier for us.  Again, we haven't taken our eggs to a chemist to break down their component nutrient levels... we just "know" what we "know".  Unfortunately, when all the anecdotal evidence suggests that there is something wrong with the evidence accumulated from the factory-farming world.... it seems to us that the state of nutritional science is not much better than a series of wild guesses.

Happy farming!

Micro Aquaculture - Backyard Catfish Farming

So, we got to thinking a while back.... what crazy idea have we not yet actually tried?

Because, hey, this is us we're talking about.  If we haven't tried it yet, we're going to do so soon, right?

Anyway, the answer is... backyard catfish!

We had this discussion a couple of years ago, after clearing the underbrush on the back corner of the lot; frankly, when we bought the house, we had to just accept the realtor's word for the validity of the most recent survey.  See, the yaupon holly had grown so thickly under our 150+ year old oak trees that you literally could not access fully 1/3rd of our property.

And after we had cut most of it to the ground, we obviously had to next begin the laborious process of removing the stumps.... which left some gaping holes in the ground... which then filled with water the next time it rained.  Between that and the size of our water bill the first year we planted corn.... the wheels started turning.  Why not have a pond back here from which to water the vegetables?  And if we're going to have a pond, why not keep fish in the pond?

This crazy idea is actually not so crazy as it sounds.  On a somewhat larger scale, my grandfather did the same thing on his land back in the 1970s.  Of course, his land was several acres on the Llano river between Llano and Castell, and if you've never heard of those places, you aren't alone.  It's not exactly urban, like our little plot of land is.  But just because we're in the middle of the city doesn't make our pond any less fish-friendly.

So, like all other great ideas, it started with a bit of laziness and a bit of imagination.  Throw in a little internet research, and we found that we were not alone.  In fact, there's even handy video footage available for those whose research skills tend to fade to test-pattern levels of attention when faced with wordier "how-to" manuals.

We're not sure we'll be naming the catfish, though.  We may never plan on eating Big Myrtle, but fried fish with hush puppies is bound to become a 4th of July tradition at Myrtle's place.

This is a long-term project, though.  I've got to dig the pond a lot deeper, figure out how to line it cheaply and in an environmentally sensitive way, control mosquitoes, and build a windmill-driven aeration system.

Any ideas would be appreciated.  Drop us a line if you have any suggestions!

Happy farming!

Which Came First, Gallus Domesticus or Gallus Prezygoticos?

We keep running out of egg cartons.  This makes sense -- we give away eggs, but we never buy any.  Ergo, any cartons we have are naturally going to have a very short shelf-life.

This is in keeping with our radical deconstruction of Feng Shui, which requires constantly evaluating the necessity of any item on our property.  Basically, at our house, if you aren't wearing it, typing on it, or using it to actually consume something, it's liable to either be given away or thrown out.

Now... why would I use a phrase like "radical deconstruction of Feng Shui"?  I'll tell you why:  because I want to.  We are completely open to examining our lives from any fresh vantage we can find, but we will not be tied down to any set of rigid principles; the Bagwah is very useful as a starting point, a palette if you will, but not so much as a rule and measure for how to live a simple life.  The only rule and measure for a simple life is "Is it all too much?  Or is it just about right?"

Another idiomatic expression of this idea comes from the Swedish term "lagom".  We are told it doesn't have a really solid English translation, but I think that is not quite right.  "Plenty good" is lagom when it comes to translating "lagom".

So, if you are wanting to start your own little backyard experiment, maybe going beyond your usual tomato plant or two to actually putting in enough crops that you can prepare meals for weeks on the food grown on your own land, or maybe you are going to get into the backyard chicken game, or keep a milk goat, or get into micro-aquaculture.... don't let idioms or preconceived definitions stop you.  Don't get caught up in a chicken or the egg debate. 

Plenty of people will tell you it can't be done.  You don't need that opinion; it's too cheap and easy.  What you need to do is ask yourself  "Why not?"  "What if I tried it MY way for once?"  "Why should I listen to conventional wisdom?"  "Where did I leave my car keys?"  Oh, wait... that last one was a legitimate question.

Happy farming!

Almost Tree Planting Time Here at Myrtle's Place

Come January, we are going to plant olives and pomegranates.

That's right, pomegranates!

We are going to order arbequina olives from Sandy Oaks Olive Orchard, and a mixture of wonderful and sweet pomegranates from Womack Nursery (where we ordered our blackberries, grapes and pecan trees last winter).

Ordinarily, we follow every bit of advice we can get from Neil Sperry, who would say we should buy locally nurseried potted trees, but the selection just ain't great shakes when you are asking for varieties as off-the-beaten-path as olives and pomegranates.  Producer's will occasionally have a few pomegranates, but they are a little pricey, and we trust the root-stock from Womack's.

Why are we talking about a January project in November?  Because... it's also a November project!  We have to get the beds ready.  Beds?  For trees?  Yes, beds.  We are going to plant the olives in two raised containers of six; the biggest problem olives have in East Texas is drainage.  We're planting them on the side of our yard which is a mixture of sand and clay.  Not loam, a mixture of sand and clay.  You want a visual, picture a slab of marble.  Anyway, drainage is our big problem; raised beds is our big solution.

And that means..... chicken-coop-compost!  We're taking all the leaves out of the coop, and putting them in our new raised beds this month.

If you want to contribute to the welfare of the homestead, we need MORE leaves than usual!  More, more, MORE!  So, if you've bagged up leaves and pine needles, the ladies would be happy to have your leftovers.

:)

Happy farming!

On the Naming of Chickens.... (Or, how do you eat someone so cute?)

When I was a kid, I remember meeting Arnold, my grandparents' hog, during summer vacation.

I also remember eating Arnold, my grandparents' breakfast sausage, during Christmas vacation.

For a lot of farm folk, that's just the way of things.  But we're technically not farm folk, as much as we like pretending.  Our little homestead is right in the middle of the city, and we don't have a huge flock of chickens, we have seven.  Eating them is just right out of the question, at least for us.

This is a dilemma all backyard chicken fanatics must face at some point:  are your birds for food or for fun?  While I grant that there can be some of both, this decision is really critical from a cost perspective; veterinarian bills alone could cripple your efforts at sustainability if you have some feathered friends in your backyard instead of some organic working capital.

That having been said, yes, our ladies have names:  Duck, Smokey Lonesome, Big Myrtle, Spectacles, Edna Flapjacks, and from our smaller second flock Dot and Bombarella.  Amelia and Little Myrtle, rest their little souls, fed the local raccoon population before we figured out how to properly secure the coop.

Which brings up a related subject -- depending on your local ordinances, where you put your chickens may have an effect on how you feel about them, and how you feel about eating them.  In College Station, chicken tractors and other portable devices are not allowed in the city limits.  The coop must be at least 100 feet from the nearest domestic building.  This puts them right outside our back door.

After we solved the smell problem (see deep bedding method in Bedtime for Bombarella), we were left with the no less significant problem that the ladies were now close enough to be members of the family.  We had originally intended to eat them, you see, but this is no longer possible.  They lay a lot of eggs (we're averaging 1 a day from each bird, in all seasons and all kinds of weather, including a hurricane), and we eat a lot of eggs, but we just can't eat the chickens themselves.

Oh, we thought we could find a way originally.  College Station does not allow roosters, and had any of them been mis-sexed by the feed lot, we intended to have homegrown fajitas... but they were all hens, and now we're just going to have to live with the consequences.

So, unless you are a hard-hearted sort, you might want to consider your backyard birds to be a source of delicious eggs... and not meat.  Just a thought.

Happy farming!

Bedtime for Bombarella... Best Practices in the Coop

We are constantly amazed at the capacity for human beings to ignore the obvious. 

What's the number one complaint about chicken coops?  Yup.  The smell.  What's the best possible solution?  Daily cleaning?  Bah!  You'd go crazy inside of a week.  Little air freshener thingies like you hang on your rearview mirror?  Puhlease.

No, the best solution is proper bedding.  And by proper bedding, we mean *DEEP* bedding.  There are numerous suggestions out there, including shavings, shredded paper, etc.  However, it astounds us (especially at this time of year) that people don't think of the obvious.

What do you have a lot of (maybe even too much of) every autumn?  That's right - leaves!

We happen to be fortunate in that regard, as we have a mixture of deciduous trees which defoliate at different times of year.  Elm, red oak, shumard oak, chinquapin oak, water oak, post oak, lots of lantana and hibiscus, and various shrublike undergrowth we haven't chopped out yet and don't know what it is, in addition to all our mustang grapes and garden veggies (which also qualify as leaves, doncha know!)

Every winter, we put in a good 2-3 feet of leaves, stomped down, and by spring the ladies have turned it over, pooped it clear through, and generally made of it the best possible compost you could imagine. 

And best of all, there's NO SMELL.  NONE.  Let me repeat -- that chicken coop stench you remember from visiting a factory farm as a kid, and being so repulsed you became a vegetarian for a while (or maybe even forever)?  It's NOT THERE.

So, if you have chickens, and you have trees, you're in business!

Happy farming!

Chickens at the White House

Urban Chickens has a great idea!  There should be chickens at the White House!  It's one thing to garden.  In fact, it's a glorious thing to garden.  It's another thing altogether to get into the business of real sustainability.

In a day and age when most of our food comes to us from over 1000 miles away, and it doesn't even taste like it should to boot, there's really no excuse for not maximizing all our green spaces.  Backyard poultry farming is not just fun, it's sensible.

When the first family got into the business of raising vegetables, we at Myrtle's place thought "Why don't they raise chickens, too?"  We then watched with happiness (and humor) as the District of Columbia decided to join the ranks of the civilized.  We wondered even more, "Why not Presidential chickens?"

And now, even Beliefnet has gotten into the act.  This is appropriate, as backyard chicken raising is as much a spiritual endeavor as it is an environmental one.  Don't believe me?

Then you obviously haven't spent a weekend calming down from your hectic work schedule by watching a bunch of Barred Rock hens chasing bugs, grapes, each other, and various imaginary chicken-foes.... I'm telling you, we've saved thousands of dollars in therapy just by having chickens.

Happy farming!

Recycling? Or hoarding?

We are fascinated by the A&E show 'Hoarders'.  Partly it's because this lifestyle is so antithetical to our own, and partly it's because we have a neighbor who is, herself, a hoarder.

At our house, the rule is, if you aren't wearing it or using it, it's likely to get thrown out.  This presents a few problems:

• We don't believe in sending things unnecessarily to the landfill
• We believe strongly in reusing or recycling whenever possible
• We don't like having trash or things that look like trash lying around
• We like to barter

So, the question becomes 'What to do with this leftover stuff?'  We have odds and ends from various construction projects which are a perfect example.  The area of our house which would be a back porch if we weren't too cheap to actually construct a porch is graded pretty steeply.  We could have built a deck, but that is too costly, too labor intensive, just too much.  However, as an easier approach, we built what for lack of a better word could be called a retaining wall out of scrap lumber bits (none longer than a foot and a half) left over from building rooms for our kids and from the treehouse.  Most of this was donated lumber to start with, so it has now been recycled twice.

We filled in the graded area behind this wall with dirt from the pond dig, and with leaves from our mighty oaks.  Come spring, after we have built a table and chairs (hopefully with recycled lumber), we will mulch the entire area with cedar chips, and voila!  An inexpensive porch made out of old stuff nobody wanted!

To make it even better, it is surrounded by a post-and-wire trellis on which wild grapes are growing; if they do half as well as the wild grapes in our faerie ring area, they should reach the roof next summer.

All of which leads to a request; for those of you living in the Brazos Valley, if you have leftover lumber, leftover cement, leftover bricks, etc., consider a trade:  eggs for your stuff.  Drop us a line and let us know what you have in trade, and we'll see if we can't work out an arrangement to keep your place and Myrtle's place both looking ship-shape.

Happy farming!

Mad City Chickens is now available on DVD!

Backyard chickens are not a new phenomenon, by any stretch of the imagination.  In Pride and Prejudice, Charlotte Lucas makes a particular point of the fact that her connubial bliss is less dependent upon a happy choice of husband, and more dependent upon a full larder, and well tended poultry.

Our own chickens are more important to us than a lot of other material items pop culture tells us we must purchase.

For anyone considering getting into the backyard chicken habit, I highly recommend this movie!

Lots of changes on the way!

We're changing the layout of the blog, which is only appropriate, given that we've changed the layout of the land (and house!) a lot over the course of the last few months.

The pond is a work in progress, but we've fenced it in, and will be planting mustang grapes and raspberries back there.

The privacy fence which turned into another grape fence is now backed up by a *real* fence built by our neighbors who were worried about their dogs getting loose.  Good for them!

We've cleared out a bunch more yaupon holly in the front yard, which has left room for more herbs; we're expanding our use of african basil next year; we've got lavender, curry icicle, sweet basil, thyme, oregano, and three different kinds of rosemary taking off in front, in addition to the grape tomatoes, cayenne peppers, banana peppers, pimiento peppers, and jalapeños.  And that's not even counting the blackberries, the loblolly pine tree, or the honesuckle we've planted up there in the past year!

So... lots of pictures to come.  We've also decided that since we were able to build rooms for our 10 year old daughter and our 6 month old son (converting a 1 bedroom house into a 3 bedroom house in the process!) we can jolly well build a roof for the chicken coop worthy of our prize hens.  Their current roof survived a hurricane, but let's face it, these ladies deserve better!

Soon to be back in action....

Hey, y'all!

A five and a half month layoff due to colic, etc.

We had forgotten how hard all that could be!

Anyway, fall harvest is half over, and we're about to start on some serious new projects, including a new roof for the chicken coop, sturdier footing for the back porch (which is now a grape arbor... pictures to come!) and getting ready to plant our olives and pomegranates.

See you soon!